Beware Of Wet Floors
by ShadowSong StarGlaive The Wolf
Summary: Oneshot It all started with a wet floor sign, and then somehow ended with an exorcism.


A/N Wrote this at a café my sister works at. I was looking at a wet floor sign at the time.

Disclaimer: I left the disclaimer in the wash. I hope I didn't mix any reds in there or else you'll have a pink disclaimer next time.

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Several yells and explosions came from the Smasher's mansion and several unidentified objects were blown out the windows. Wreckage littered the lawn and small fires were erupting in the bushes.

It was your average day where the Super Smash Brothers lived.

"Get back here and die like a fruitcake!" screamed Peach, whacking Mario over the head with her parasol. After turning a corner, Mario took a second to look around for a quick escape- and was booted out the window.

"Please, Peach, not the pointy end- OW!" The Italian tumbled out the window and landed on the charred grass below. Sprawled under the window, he stared and the sky and sighed. "Sometimes I wonder why I bother rescuing her."

In another part of the mansion, Roy, Marth, Link, and Mr. Game and Watch were discussing the finer points in life.

"So on the 'Caution! Wet Floor!' sign, why is there a person in a skin-tight black body suit?" asked Roy. "Honestly."

"Must be a ninja." concluded Link after a second.

"Beep," agreed Mr. Game and Watch.

"You tell 'em boy," said Marth. "So it's a subliminal message- 'Watch out for the wet floor and ninjas!"

"Or," mused Link, "It's a ploy, to fool us, to make us think ninjas are clumsy and when we least expect it BAM! They strike!"

"It's a ninja conspiracy!" realized Marth. "To make us think we're safe when really…" he dropped his voice and whispered, "We're not safe at all!"

"We have to be on the lookout," warned Roy. "When you least expect it,

just like Link said."

"Hey boys?" called Samus from the hallway outside Marth's room. "Jigglypuff got stuffed in the toilet and Pichu tried to get her out but the firecrackers misfired and well… it got a little watery." She put down a wet floor sign and nodded. "That'll stop anybody from getting hurt."

"OH MY DIN!" cried Link. "Save her!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" bellowed Marth, and dove towards Samus, knocking her away from the sign. Roy powered up his sword and sliced up the sign into pieces, sending the shards of plastic flying.

"Ninja stars!" gasped Link. "EVERYBODY DOWN!"

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" yelled Zelda, stomping in from the hall. "Why does it smell like burnt plastic? Marth, let go of Samus's legs! Link don't- oh heck!" She stamped over to Roy, grabbed his sword, bashed him upside the head with it, and dragged Samus out of the room. "Girls DO mature faster than boys, I swear…"

"Link!" gasped Marth. "Your girlfriend…"

"She can't be!" cried Link. "Please no!"

"It's true!" wailed Roy.

In unison, all the boys said, "Zelda's a ninja!"

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"You know in fast food restaurants they have the 'Pick up' and 'Order here' signs?" asked Ganondorf. "Well, in my restaurant, I'll have a 'Order your stud here' sign and a 'Pick me up' sign."

"You're weird. What would it be called?" said Captain Falcon, modeling a little racecar out of leftover macaroni and cheese. Both men were sitting in the rec room. "Okay, note to self- tell whoever made this that is has the consistency of clay and smells like new car."

"It'd be called 'Gerudo Grill'," said the ex-conqueror of Hyrule. "And the slogan would be-"

"Run for your lives!" screamed Link, running into the room, a wild look on his face. "Zelda's a ninja!"

"Who spiked the milk?" said Captain Falcon lazily, adding details to the hubcaps on the wheels.

"This isn't like last time!" cried Link. "I'm not tipsy!"

"I bet it was spiked with glue," mused Ganondorf.

"That would explain a lot," muttered Captain Falcon, eyeing his car creation with suspicion.

"No! She's trying to kill us all with wet floor signs!" explained Link with a scared look about him.

"Oh, that's rational!" chuckled Ganondorf. "You'd have to be possessed to do that."

"Wait!" said Link, something dawning on him, as if a light bulb had exploded in his head. And it wasn't the sudden paleness in his face. "She's been possessed by a ninja spirit!"

"Oh, this is good," laughed Captain Falcon. "What are you going to do, exorcise her?"

"Darn right!" snapped Link. "Does anyone know how to do an exorcism?"

"Dunno," thought Ganondorf. "Try Mewtwo, he's psychic."

With that, Link sped out of the room, yelling, "Zelda, I'm coming to save you!"

"It's never really dull around here," said Captain Falcon, adding windshield wipers to his sculpture.

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Within a matter of minutes, Link had tracked down Zelda and cornered her. "I've come to save you and get that demon out of you!"

"What?" asked the princess, puzzled.

Link grabbed her and tied her to a pillar supporting the roof nearby with duct tape. "This is for your own good, I swear! I love you too much to let this happen!"

"Link, when I said I wanted you to be in touch with your emotions, this isn't exactly what I had in mind," said Zelda somewhat nervously.

"DEMONS BEGONE!" yelled Link, waving a cherry-scented candle in front of his girlfriend. "LEAVE HER!"

"Um…" thought Zelda, wondering if her boyfriend's past was finally taking it's toll on him. Then she realized that it was perhaps best if she went along with it and ended it quickly. "AHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, and slumped over. "Link? My head hurts!"

"Zelda!" cried Link, hugging her.

The Master Hand watched this spectacle through one of the windows in his office, then turned back to his work. "These people get far too much free time," he muttered.

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A/N Short, but fun. You know the drill, read, enjoy, review!


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